The angel
by Dannee-san
Summary: Mamoru's thoughts on the day Usagi finds out he's Tuxedo Kamen. Manga based. Merry Christmas!


AN Here is my little (belated) Christmas present. I think it's the first Sailor Moon fic I ever wrote. At the moment of writing I didn't consider it worth the publishing, but I guess it's kind of nice. Just for clarity, this is Manga based. But it isn't that hard to follow, because the events are described as well. Hope you'll enjoy. And my next update for A Silver wrapped Gift is on its way.  
  
Disclaimer: What do you take me for? A millionair? Of course I don't own it!  
  
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I was confused. For several weeks now, maybe months, I had seen this Tsukino Usagi, this unexplainable girl I was attracted to. She was a complete enigma, Tsukino Usagi, Sailor Moon.  
  
Her image danced before my eyes, that long blond hair tied in those characterizing two buns. I wondered. Did Sailor Moon wear those buns, because Usagi did, or was it the other way around? I didn't know. It didn't matter anyway. She looked adorable with her hair like that and neither Usagi, nor Sailor Moon would be the same without them.  
  
My thoughts wandered back to when we first met. She had thrown a test paper with an appalling score across her shoulder. The crumpled paper had landed on my head and I had feigned injury. My sneering remark I instantly regretted, but it was too late to take it back. The spirit I had seen in her eyes when she stood up to me, had startled me, intrigued me. And over our continuing encounters I slowly felt myself falling under her spell.  
  
And Sailor Moon. I should have realized that now two girls could hold the same spirit. I should have recognized the flame that burned in the warrior's eyes, similar to the fires raging in Usagi's eyes whenever she bickered with me.  
  
Why had I fallen for this strange little girl? Why could it not be someone of my age? She was three years younger! Only fourteen! A mere child, who had me wrapped around her delicate little finger and didn't even know it.  
  
But she was so beautiful. A goddess. My whole being sang in praise for her as my thoughts lingered on the line of her face, the curve of her lips, those incredibly blue eyes. I blushed, unseen by anyone as I sat staring out over the lights of Tokyo. Shame colored my cheeks, when I thought about how her body showed promising signs of developing fantastic curves as she would grow.  
  
Idiot! I should not be thinking about her like that! I should abandon all thoughts of longing, of wanting to hold her, touch her, kiss her...  
  
I angrily shook my head. But my anger subsided unwantedly fast. My heart ached as I thought about my blond angel running around the city, fighting monsters with her fellow warriors. Didn't she realize how dangerous the enemy was? I had often cursed myself for being the strange Tuxedo Kamen, but now I found myself more and more grateful for the chance of saving her.  
  
And had I not already kissed her? At the ball where the princess had displayed her family treasure. My disappointment for it not being the Mystical Silver Crystal I wanted so badly had vanished the moment my lips had touched her. I thought her asleep, but she had responded my kiss, more than I had thought possible. Something had been oddly familiar. Just as I was about to find out more, that black cat had walked in, shooing me away.  
  
Suddenly my senses were prickled. I looked over the city, detecting a disturbance. People were being hurt. I didn't know how it was possible, but I always sensed it when something on this planet was out of order. I remembered being terribly ill one time, feeling like something was tearing my stomach open. As I had watch the news to try and distract me from the torment, I saw some idiots in South America had split the Earth's surface. As pictures of lava cascading down hills were shown, I had the unnerving feeling that I felt that bleeding of our planet as my own pain.  
  
Usagi would be there. Oh god, I had to go. I had to protect her. I ran out the door, not bothering to change.  
  
I didn't know how, but my legs carried me on a straight path across the city. I hardly noticed the body's of passerbies beginning to fall. I only had one thing on my mind. Usagi.  
  
I ran around a corner and there she was. My beautiful angel, my inspiration, staggering as the work of the enemy began taking its toll on her fragile body. Her knees buckled and I winced as she hit the pavement, unable to catch her as I was still too far away from her. Her bag landed beside her only a heartbeat after. Something fell out of it.  
  
A staff. A short pink staff with a golden yellow crescent moon on top. I gasped as I saw it, something triggering my memory. I ran towards her, changing into Tuxedo Kamen. Gently I took her in my arms, stroking her cheeks, coaxing her to wake.  
  
Her eyes fluttered open, staring into my own. I was mesmerized by them and it took my a few moments to compose myself. Then business bore down on me, hard.  
  
"You have to change," I spoke urgently. "You have to transform into Sailor Moon."  
  
Her eyes widened in shock and I could almost hear her thinking. 'How does he know? How does he know it's me?'  
  
I did not answer her unspoken question. I merely urged her on. "Please, you have to."  
  
She nodded and scrambled to her feet. I watched as she raised her hands and spoke five words, "Moon Prism Power, make up!"  
  
Her brooch attached to the bow of her school uniform, reacted to those words. I had never seen her transform before, not into Sailor Moon. I looked in awe. Her body glowed with the power of the moon, from her brooch long winding ribbons extended, shielding her, taking away her clothes and turning into her Sailor outfit.  
  
After the completion of the transformation she lowered her hand. It was only then she seemed to realize the dead around her. She gasped, horror marring her beautiful features.  
  
"Oh no, now what do I do?" The despair in her voice was crystal clear.  
  
For once I gave in to my heart and I closed my arms around her terrified form, shielding her from those terrors laying around her. "You are strong Sailor Moon. Do not despair. I know you can help this city."  
  
Suddenly something shone between us. We eased up a bit and I saw it was the staff that had flown from her bag. It was glowing. Her eyes, filled with fear, looked up at me. Her hands closed around the staff, trembling.  
  
"You can do it," I whispered.  
  
She nodded, resolve showing on her face. She squeezed her eyes shut and turned away from me. She seemed to be praying. In a few seconds the glow of the rod changed into a pulsing bright light and that light suddenly exploded, showering the people all over town. With awe and relief I saw the people stirring.  
  
They were brought back to life and all because of this one girl. I looked around at her, just in time to see her sway and fall. I rushed to catch her, taking her in my arms. "Sailor Moon?" I whispered, fear constricting my throat. Had that last thing, that blinding light, taken all the strength out of her? Was she dying?  
  
I looked at her features, bathing in peace. No, she was simply sleeping. Happily I lifted her and taking her bag and the staff with me I set out for my home.  
  
Inside my apartment I immediately entered my bedroom. Carefully I laid her on to my bed and pulled the covers over her slim figure. For a few moments I stood there, watching her sleep. Emotion tumbled inside me, trying to gain the upper hand. Eventually I had to turn away. I could no longer bear the sight of that perfect creature gracing my unworthy sheets. The simple cotton was unfit to touch her skin. Silk covers should be envelop that glorious body.  
  
I threw off my hat an mask and tossed my cloak and jacket carelessly on the couch. Then I went to the kitchen and let cold water run over my hands and wrists. I threw it in my face, trying to wash away the thoughts surfacing in my mind.  
  
I loved her. I knew I did. I had not always known, but now I knew. And she hated me. That realization sank my heart to my stomach.  
  
It was all my fault. I shouldn't have taunted her so much. I shouldn't have wanted to see that spirit so badly. I collapsed against the kitchen cupboards, trembling.  
  
I had blown it. The first girl I ever loved and I had gone and wasted it. Damn it! How could I have been so stupid?! Had I really been so void of emotions my entire life that I didn't recognized love until it was too late?  
  
I rested my head against the cupboard door and let the water dry on my face.  
  
I must have fallen asleep, because I was suddenly roused by a sound. Was it coming from my bedroom? Was Usagi waking up? I scrambled to my feet, eager to see her again, even though it tore at my heart. On silent feet I padded through the living room I came to rest against the doorframe to my bedroom.  
  
She was awake. And she had transformed back to just Usagi wearing her school uniform. She looked around at me. Her cerulean blue eyes met my storm blue ones.  
  
She blinked in surprise. "Where am I?"  
  
"In my apartment," I answered. The sunlight played with her figure, my mouth went dry. Oh god, how could someone be that breathtaking?! Did she know what she was doing to me? She was just standing there, innocently, in a strange man's bedroom.  
  
I turned and walked out, unable to keep looking. But her image was branded in my mind. Light footsteps were heard behind me. She had followed me into the living room. Suddenly my eyes fell on my costume laying on the coach. Well, there was no use trying to hide it now. Besides, I knew about her being Sailor Moon. Fair is fair.  
  
I turned back to her again and watched as her eyes flickered from me to the coach and back to me again. I saw her putting two and two together. She slowly walked over to the abandoned outfit and picked up the mask.  
  
"Of course," she whispered, "how could I have been so blind?" She stepped up to me and placed the mask over my eyes. "How could I not have seen the similarity?"  
  
For a few moments silence remained. I stared at her face, afraid to see disgust in them, loathing for my humble being, because of how I had insulted her so much.  
  
Nothing happened. She looked at me hesitantly. "I should be going home now. Luna must be worried."  
  
I didn't know who Luna was. Wasn't that her cat? Why would her cat be worried about her? Why not her mother? I suddenly remembered the protective cat who had interrupted the kiss the other day. I blushed as I realized my partner in that kiss was standing in front of me.  
  
She turned to go. I didn't want that. There were so many things I wanted to tell her. I slipped my arm around her waist and pulled her back to me. "Usako?" The name escaped my lips, before I knew it. My heart was pounding as I noticed how close our bodies were.  
  
That brought me to my senses. I should not be handling a fourteen year old like that. I reached behind me where I had put her schoolbag, with the staff safely back inside. "Your bag, Usako," I said, as I handed the object to her.  
  
Was I right when I saw disappointment flash across her face? No, it couldn't be. She was an innocent girl and I was the greatest lecher in the world. Still, I was reluctant to let her go. With pain in my heart I watch her close the front door, cursing and thanking the piece of wood at the same time for keeping the untouched angel away from my unworthy hands.  
  
Trembling I moved to the cabinet which held my most prized possession. It wasn't really mine, though. It was the handkerchief she had dropped at the ball. Her smell still lingered on it. I softly pressed a kiss on the blessed piece of cloth. Blessed, because it was hers.  
  
Oh, how I wanted to be hers. Tiredly I dragged myself to my bedroom and dropped heavily on the mattress. I pulled the blankets closely around me, burying herself in the scent she had left on the sheets. Tears came to my eyes as the picture of the blond haired girl laying in the exact same spot played around in my head.  
  
As the yearning for Usagi grew, I enclosed myself deeper in her scent. Silent tears stained my pillow. The sun setting behind me I finally fell asleep, still clutching the handkerchief, still breathing her in.  
  
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AN If you liked it, or if you didn't, please review? Pretty please with sugar on top? 


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